Half Marathon #12

Half Marathon #12 is in the books. I went into today knowing this race would be just as tough physically as it would be mentally given my sub-par training. I had accepted my season and was just going to have fun with my running tribe. All things considered it was pretty great race mentally and physically I felt really good until about Mile 11. Mile 12 I realized I missed a nutrition intake, but at that point the damage was done. 

When things got hard I spent those miles thinking about Parker, Peyton and their brave momma. I thought about how sometime in the next 8 weeks 1 phone call will change our lives forever. And in a brief moment when I wanted to quit, I thought about the lessons I hope to one day teach our precious girls - not just through my words, but my actions. Recovery has been a little rough today, but I'm still smiling. I am thankful for the ability to run, for a crazy supportive husband, that I got to run along side some of my very best friends and watched as one of them set nearly a 20 minute PR! 5 years of distance running and can't wait to see what adventures are to come! 

A Goal Without A Plan Is Just A Wish

Well I had a plan when my training started. Having a plan and following it are two different things. So now that we are a week out I'm going to wish for an amazing race. But truth be told I just want to have a good time with my girlfriends and finish upright.

Miles for our Future Birth Mom

Snuggled up on the couch with Gulliver, the last thing I wanted to do today was run. Yet the Cowtown Half Marathon is inching closer and snuggling on the couch won't get my butt up and over the Main Street bridge. Today's miles were dedicated to our future Birth Mom. If she can make the most selfless decisions any woman could ever be faced with - I can run in the cold, wet mist. That might sound dramatic, but it pushed me. I spent over 6 miles thinking about about her and praying for her. And in turn it was the fastest pace I have run in almost a year. Good prayers and fast miles - I'll take it!

Yellow Shoe Diaries: I Never Want To Forget What Today Felt Like

I never want to forget what today felt like. 

The last minute panic over what I was wearing. 

The mix of nerves and excitement as I made my way up to the start line with up AJ, Jen and Garrison.

 

The moment it hit me for the first time ever I was actually able to pace with AJ and we were running together. And taking silly selfies. 

The brief moments of doubt and the overwhelming peace that quickly followed. 

The moment I realized I was running a race far greater than I could imagined. 

The joy that seeing Kipper and Watts along the route brought me. 

And that last mile. Oh that last mile. My body ached and my emotions were high. I never want to forget that last turn to the finish. The salty tears streaming down my face and my favorite Chris Tomlin song turned up just enough so I could hear it over the crowd. 

Then crossing the same finish line where this crazy dream started. It was surreal. It was so special. It was a defining moment for me as a runner.

Being able to text Lil' Polley my results and her ecstatic response.  

Meeting Jen on the back half of the course and being able to run her across the 20 mile mark and the final bit into the park. 

Watching and cheering Jen cross the finish line of her first Full Marathon! 

And the huge smile that was apparently plastered on my face during every single phase of the day. 

No mater where my journey leads next these are moments I never want to lose sight of. Moments that were all made possible through God's love and amazing grace.  

Yellow Shoe Diaries: One Week To Go

Today was my last long run Sunday before the big day! The next week will be all about hydration, nutrition, relaxation and mental preparation. (With a big emphasis on the mental part!) This season of training has been unlike any before. I am experiencing a weird mixture of confidence and fear. I know what I am capable of. I just have to keep believing in that and stop worrying about the perfect racing conditions. 

Last year was the exact opposite of of perfect conditions and it was an incredible day.  I have learned that while the weather does affect me some, having my heart and mind in the right place is so much more important. In moments of doubt and fear God had carried me. Mental preparation for me is really spiritual preparation. I don't run for my own glory - I run for His glory. 

I just need to accept that I don't know what the outcome of my personal race will be, but I do know it will be an epic day for our little running tribe. Jen is taking on her first full marathon and I can't wait to finish my race so we can cheer her through the back half of the course.  And our newest (and youngest) recruit, Garrison, is taking in his first half. 14 years old and running a half marathon! 

Now for the next week to fly by and Mother Nature to remember to take her crazy pills just in case.

Yellow Shoe Diaries: Worst. Training. Run. Ever.

Running is a humbling sport. 

Today I had my worst long run of this year. Maybe ever. I decided to share this not for sympathy or admiration but because I often look at old running posts when I need inspiration. And I am pretty sure future Allie needs to remember today. 

Mother Nature set the stage for a great 10 miles with gorgeous weather. Seriously is was like an Spring day in late March or early April, but in January. Of course to keep things interesting Mother Nature also threw in some awesome cramps. Every step it felt like I was being stabbed in the stomach with a knife. Sometimes being a girl really sucks. 

By mile 3 I considered calling it a day because I was so off pace and hurting badly. By the time I made it to mile 7 I was still moving slower than I needed but was starting to feel a little better. That was until a group of 7-8 year old boys started "cheering" me on by chanting "Run Fatty, Run!" 

AYFKMRN?!?! 

I would be lying if I said I didn't want to flip them off or knock on their parents door. But then I started thinking how lots of kids learn their behavior from their parents and I was a little scared of what the response would be if I did knock on their door. I just kept going. I would also be lying if I said I didn't shed a tear or two over the next mile or so. I didn't cry because they hurt my feelings. I am fully aware I am a bigger girl. No one looks at me and says, "Oh that girl is totally a runner!" 
The tears that were falling were tears of pride. 

I had every reason to stay on the couch with a heating pad today, but I didn't. I had every reason to quit at mile 3 when Kipper offered to come get me if I was in too much pain, but I didn't. Today I dug deep, gave what I could and made it just over 9 miles. Today I am thankful for the reminder that in the long run of this journey, the accomplishments on my worst days are just as sweet (sometimes sweeter) than setting a PR on my best days.

Yellow Shoe Diaries: Titanic Kind of Day

Some runs I feel like I could fly. And some runs feel like I weigh 500 pounds and I am dragging the Titanic behind me. First long run of 2016 and it was a Titanic kind of day.

I walked in the door afterwards beating myself up about it. Then I realized something. I had three choices this morning: say screw it and go home, take the easy flat loop, or suck it up and run hills. Two years ago I would have gone home. A year ago I would have taken the easy route. Today I ran mile after mile of hills. I knew that my pace would be crap but I also knew in the long run time on those hills would make a bigger difference come race day than a faster pace on a random training run. Just took a little perspective to help me remember that some progress can't be seen in distance or pace.

Sending Out 2015 With A Bang!

We are only a few hours away from ringing in 2016 and for the first time I don't know how many years we are sitting at home in our pajamas while our friends celebrate at G and Bo's resort, Lush, out on PK. Originally we were supposed to be on vacation but sweet Fenway's bad eye got an infection and the surgery was supposed to have this Spring got moved up to New Year's Eve!

Over the last few days as we have been home bound administering eye drops to Fenway every hour on the hour, I had a lot of time to reflect on the past year. In January I poured my heart out and I set out to make some changes. The biggest being to break down a wall and step out of my comfort zone.

365 days later I am proud of myself that even though some months were harder than others, I did what I set out to do. And I am better for it. I faced my fears of tracking my food. I learned to believe in myself when it comes to running. In turn I lost 30 pounds and set new Half, 15k, 10k and 5k PRs! I finally got a bike - Princess Sparkle Unicorn. And then crashed it into a bridge the first time I hit the trails. I was able to find a new passion in giving back through The Birthday Party Project and had a blast sharing my birthday by raising money for one of my new favorite causes!

Kipper finished his second Ironman 70.3, changed jobs at Cook and was accepted to TCC's accelerated nursing school program. Once school started our lives turned upside down for the first few months, but as expected he is doing great and is now 8 months away from graduating. Oh and in the middle of all that he had surgery to remove Hector (ended up being a cyst) from his neck.

Together we celebrated our 11th Wedding Anniversary. Enjoyed a few road trips and adventure days. Made some home improvements. Drank some really great and some not so great wine. And most importantly laughed.  A lot.

Oh, and after 15 years together I finally got Kipper to dress up in a couples costume with me. Although simple, this was a big deal! 

And in keeping in the spirit of stepping out of my comfort zone, Kipper and I agreed to be part of an article for 360 West Magazine about normal people who made significant lifestyle changes and stuck with them. If including how much I weighed when I ran my full marathon in my blog wasn't hard enough, it is now in print of pretty a popular local magazine. A year ago there is NO way I would have been okay with that. As scary as it was for me, I told Kipper if it inspired just one girl who was in search of a change it would be worth it. Fingers crossed that mission was accomplished. For those wanting to read the full article you can find it here.

The boys had a pretty big year too! They have found a love for dining al fresco and all the attention that comes with it. While I miss having a girl in the family, we have enjoyed all the fun outings that we could have never done with three babies. The boys were not a big fan of their Daddy going back to school because he always had a book or a laptop in his lap, but they adjusted after a few weeks. We also learned Fenway has a hereditary eye disease, which lead to his NYE surgery. The poor guy has spent at nearly 2 1/2 months of the year in the "cone of shame" but has been such a trooper.  And Gulliver has been beyond sweet. He is just ready for his playmate to be all better so he has someone to chase in the backyard. 

This year had its highs and lows, but in over all it was a pretty incredible year. We have so much to be thankful for it is hard to do it justice in one short blog, but I think this pretty much sums it up:

In 2015: We pushed and challenged ourselves. We achieved goals that before seemed impossible. We stumbled, but picked ourselves up. We experienced God moving in our lives. We laughed ourselves silly and a few times cried ourselves to sleep. (Ok that last past was mainly me) We grew as a couple, but also individually. We took risks and went on adventures. We shared moments of celebration and moments of sorrow with those we hold dear. We faced some pretty big fears and challenges, but overcame them with the love and support of family and friends. We had hard conversations and shared in authentic fellowship with friends. We learned more than one should know about the canine eyeball. We found new passions. We loved deeply and soaked up every moment - the good and the bad - this year had to offer. Even though 2015 ended on a rough patch 2016 has big shoes to fill! Bring it on 2016!

Yellow Show Diaries: Don't Worry I Know I'm Crazy

Pay no attention to the girl in the crazy pants, quietly sobbing through a good portion of her workout. No, I wasn't pushing myself too hard, but thank you for your concern random treadmill neighbor. It's been a rough day and therapy is expensive. 

Sometimes a girl just needs to cry a few tears of relief and joy because God is oh so good. And sometimes it happens while she runs. I'm an emotional runner. I can think of worse things.

Here Lately - Making Peace When Things Aren't Perfect

How is it already June?!? Seriously the last 2 months are a crazy blur but here we are the first week

of June. The fact I spent the last week sick as a dog is more than likely a result of those blurry weeks and my body saying enough is enough.

When I wrote about my 100 day progress I set new goals for the next 100 days. Since I'm just over 50 days into that time frame I decided to do a little check in to hold myself accountable.

   1. Eat more protein. Some days are better than others but I still need a lot of work here. What can I say, I'm a carb loving Polish girl! My plan now is to start trying to trick my mind into thinking I am getting tons of carbs while actually getting extra protein with things like protein pancakes! 

   2. Go to bed earlier.  Let's just skip this one for now. Its an area of opportunity to say the least. 

   3. Set a new half marathon PR.  Not yet and honestly it will be a stretch. I was supposed to run a night half at the end of May. A few weeks before I started having knee pain in both knees that I had never had before. Thankfully it wasn't my knees, but in fact extremely tight quads that were pulling on my knees. Silly me thought the tightness in my quads my legs firming up. Apparently it was just my muscles turning into rocks! ha! Since my coach, husband and doctor all encouraged me to sit this race out so I didn't run. As the temps start to rise I'm not going to put the pressure on myself to PR in a June or July race. If it happens, awesome. If it doesn't, that's okay too. I can chase that goal this Fall. 

   4. Prepare more meals.  Does reheating chicken count? 

   5. Keep making myself uncomfortable.  Without a doubt this is the one area I have forced myself to stick with. From taking part in small group discussions I would have normally only listened in on to going sleeveless somewhere other than the gym. I even tired sushi! Alone none of these things are life altering but they are positive growth that I wouldn't have ever imagined a year ago. 

So there it is. Things haven't gone smoothly or at all how I had planned them. Aside from those 5 goals I have struggled with some other areas as well. I've missed entering a few snacks and probably some wine into my food log. I have missed or cut short some workouts. I'm still not a domestic goddess. Things haven't been tied up in a pretty little bow. 

Writing it all out makes the little OCD Allie in my head start to freak out a little bit. She starts telling me that I have failed but for once I know I have made some significant personal growth because I can easily tell her to shove it. I wasn't perfect. I didn't completely stick to the plan. And that's okay. 

This journey is about long term life changes. It is about balance. It is about learning to truly live in the moment. This journey isn't a fad or a chapter of my life. Those are the reminders that give me peace when that nagging little Allie starts in on me. Life is messy, but that is what makes it beautiful and exciting! 

In the last 50 days:

• I watched Kipper complete his second Half Ironman, 
• I met new friends. 
• I deepened my relationship of God. 
• I stayed out way too late with girlfriends. 
• I had incredibly meaningful and heartfelt conversations with my best girlfriends. 
• I gave back to my community.
• I shared treasured moments with family. 
• I learned new things. 
• I had adventures Princess Bryn. 
• I tried new restaurants/food. 
• I enjoyed the simple things. 
• I lost 4 more pounds. 
• I laughed till it hurt.
• I bought new running shoes. 
• I bought smaller pants. 
• I looked in the mirror at the gym and for once the voice in my head didn't get in the way - I didn't completely hate what I saw (so I took a selfie to remember the day! Exhibit A)  

• I danced myself silly. 
• I ate WAY too much sugar. 
• I ran some amazing and some not so amazing miles. 
• I celebrated people I love. 
• I cried both tears of joy and frustration. 
• I fell in love with my job, again. 
• I washed a lot of muddy paws. 
• I made some questionable fashion statements. 
• I found joy in my doodles and painting.
• I have loved deeply.
• I admitted my mistakes. 
• I didn't give up. 

In the last 50 day I truly lived my wonderfully messy life! 

One Hundred Days

Yesterday marked the one hundredth day of this chapter! 100 days of facing fears, pushing the limit on my comfort zone and truly learning to believe in myself. I figured it was the perfect time catch everyone up and reevaluate my goals moving forward.

What have I been up?

1. Tracking my food. As you all know, this was one of the toughest things for me. Tracking my food gave me such anxiety, but somehow I have survived for 100 days without missing a beat. I am talking vacation, busy weeks at work, even days I just didn't want to mess with it - I stuck to my plan! Now I would be lying if I didn't admit that there are some days that it still gives me a little anxiety, especially when I don't have control over what is being served. Yet it isn't nearly as scary as I built it up to be and it is so nice to be able to look at my daily intake with a healthy mindset. 

2. Breaking habits.  I wanted everything I was doing to be a lifestyle change, not just a phase. In order for that to happen I had to break some bad habits. First and foremost the one I am most proud of is my breakup with Diet Dr. Pepper! I gave up regular Dr. Pepper about 5 years ago but was addicted to Diet Dr. Pepper in a bad way. Before I came to work at Pier 1 Imports I would drink at least 1 Route 44 Diet Dr. Pepper a day!! I had finally gotten myself down to one can a day by the end of last year but anytime I tried to go more than a day I would get a terrible headache.  After fighting through that I was able to get down to a half a can a day and then just a can every few days. I am now to the point that I am fine without them. That doesn't mean I won't ever drink another soft drink in my life but I certainly don't depend on them or crave them anymore. 

3. Setting new records. This has honestly been the most exciting part to me. In the last 100 days I have pushed myself harder than I ever thought I could go as a runner. I never thought I would get much faster. When I hired a coach I had a goal but I wasn't sure it was possible in the short time frame I had give myself, especially coming off an injury. Yet somewhere along the way it all clicked (get the full story here) and I have cut nearly 3 minutes off what I used to consider my normal pace. Before my goal was always just to finish because setting anything more aggressive made me feel like I was setting myself up for failure. Don't get me wrong - there will still be plenty of races where the only goal is to have fun and finish. As proud as I am of my the PR's I have sent in the last 2 1/2 months, I am ready to crush them with a new PR! 

4. Victories on and off the scale. While it was very important to me that this NOT only be about a number on a scale, losing weight was part of the goal. Since I have been tracking my food and increased my calories I have lost 25 pounds and nearly 2 pant sizes! What is even more exciting to me though is how my body is changing. I feel stronger than I ever have. When I look in the mirror in my mind I don't look like I have lost 25 pounds, but I love the changes I am seeing. And even more so I love how I feel! 

5. Finding balance. Balance is something that I have been working on for a year or so. Learning to say no and basically stopping the glorification of "busy." Even though I have been running for almost 4 years now I have never been good at balancing working out when life gets in the way. I would either ignore training or just be totally anti-social.  I'm still a work in progress here but I am proud of myself for maintaining some sort of balance between training, work, family, friends and social engagements. So far April has proved to be the biggest challenge. If I can keep some sort of balance the rest of this month I will consider that one for the win column. 

What's in store for the next 100 days? 

1. Eat more protein. Now that I have gotten the hang of tracking my food and eating enough calories I really want to start focusing on increasing my protein intake. 

2. Go to bed earlier.  I'm a night owl, always have been. The last few months I have worked on making myself go to bed earlier, but not consistently. 

3. Set a new half marathon PR.  I have a goal I want to reach by the end May - a 2:45 finish. That would be cutting nearly 14 minutes off my time so I know it will be a stretch in this short of time. Although I keep surprising myself so I know anything is possible. 

4. Prepare more meals.  Kipper is the chef in our family and too often I rely on him to cook my meals. With his work and training schedule it is sometimes hard for him to make that happen. I want make more of an effort to learn how to cook meals that I enjoy so that I can do all of my meal prep myself. 

5. Keep making myself uncomfortable. Either big or small, I don't want to settle. I am challenging myself to do at least one thing outside of my comfort zone each week. 

So what are you going to do with your next 100 days?? 

Hello Awesome: Finding the Courage to Believe

February in Texas is always a little unpredictable. One week you have highs in the 80's and the next week you are hit with Thundersleet and mass school closures. So when you sign up for a February race you just have to be prepared that Mother Nature might not be on her meds that week and you could have basically any extreme.

As many of you know I had been working my tail off training for this year's Cowtown Half Marathon. It was going to be my PR race and if everything went just right I was going to run my first sub 3 hour half.  While that seems so slow compared to many of my running friends, this was a BIG deal for me.

I can honestly say I put more heart and soul into my training than I have ever had, with maybe the exception of my first half marathon. For so long I had just accepted the fact that I was a slow runner I never really tried to get any faster, finishing was all that really mattered. When I finally decided that I wanted to get faster I hired a coach and went all in. In order to really tell my race day story, I have to give you a little back story as well! :)

My sweet (and super fast!!) friend Little Amy would always tell me, "You are faster than you think. You can run faster."  Her encouragement is part of what got me to the point of wanting to get faster but I didn't truly believe those words. Even though I was getting faster and seeing results each workout, in the back of my mind I was still that slow girl I had come to identify with. Then one day that all changed.

AJ, Jen, Kipper and I all signed up to run the Hot Chocolate 15k in Dallas the first weekend of February. It was COLD, but thankfully sunny. In order to avoid standing in the wind any longer we jumped up several corrals so we could just get started.

For the first mile I knew was going too fast. I was keeping up with AJ but I wanted to get through the crowd so I could set into my pace. The course had quite a few more hills than I expected but I was feeling really good. I use Map My Run and each mile a voice come on and tells you your pace for the last mile, as well as your overall average pace. At Mile 7 I started to panic!! I ran 12:45 mile and was averaging right around 13:00. I started to slow up a bit telling myself "I don't run that fast! I better slow down or I won't make it!" Then something clicked. I do run that fast, I had just gone 7 miles that fast and still felt really, really good!! I will never forget that moment. At Mile 7 everything changed.

Fast forward a few weeks to the week of Cowtown. It is expected to be cold and rainy both Saturday for the 5k and Sunday for the Half.  Naturally I started to panic about the rain.  If it was bad on Saturday I wasn't going to risk slipping on wet roads and would just hold off for the Half on Sunday. Little did I know that rain was going to be the least of my concerns.

Come Thursday the sleet and snow from the week before decided to make a reappearance. I was glued to the Cowtown Marathon Facebook, page waiting for updates.

Friday morning came the first announcement: Expo was not opening on Friday and Saturday's races were canceled. At that point I was fine. We were only doing the 5k for fun and to earn the challenge medal. We would have to wait till Saturday to see what would happen so Kipper and I settled in for a fun snow day.

Saturday morning we got word that the Expo would open at 1:00 p.m. so we all planned to meet up there that afternoon. Kipper had a 3 hour ride scheduled on the CompuTrainer at Trident so I packed some snacks and my iPad to tag along so we could go to the Expo afterwards.  The roads were bad and had not melted nearly as much as I had hoped.

By the time we finally made it to the Expo the parking lot was like an ice skating rink and lines were longer than I have ever seen them. Some people waited up to an hour to get their packets! I felt so bad for the volunteers and staff. While most people where very kind some were down right rude, especially on social media. As someone who used to plan outdoor events for 10,000-15,000 people (that typically fell during hurricane season with crazy thunderstorms) I knew exactly what they were going through. I always try to thank volunteers and race workers, but this year I made a point to be overly appreciative to them.

Late that afternoon they canceled the Full and Ultra Marathons, but the Half Marathon was still a go with a later start time. Given that the back half of the Full and Ultra courses were on many less traveled residential streets and the trails, this call made plenty of sense. They could focus on clearing the major roads and those runners were invited to run the Half if they wanted. AJ and I still planned to run, but poor Jen was stuck in her neighborhood due to ice. As the evening went on friends started withdrawing left and right. I was in full blown panic.  They had crews who would be working through the night to make the roads ready and given some photos being posted on the Facebook page, they had a lot of work to do!  At that point I had given up on the idea of my PR race and decided I would make the final call if I would run once I got there in the morning. Needless to say, I didn't sleep very well that night.

Come Sunday morning Kipper started to feel really uneasy about me running. The roads going to pick up AJ were still bad. After he dropped us off at the Start Line he drove to look at some of the course. The bridges were still really icy and at this point I could tell he didn't want me to run. I started to call it but AJ and Tim helped talk me into it. For the first time ever I was excited to be in the last corral because there would be at least 45 minutes of people running in front of me, helping clear the roads more. I promised Kipper that I would check in with him every few miles and if I got to a place where I felt unsafe I would call him to come get me.

AJ and I headed out to get in our corral. At this point our goal was to not freeze to death, finish and just have fun. On a side note the new corral system is awesome! I felt much more relaxed getting ready to start, which says a lot given the situation.  One last photo at the start line and we were off.

The first mile was great. While the roads still had quite a bit of slush if you followed the tire tracks they were clear. I suddenly felt much better...until I hit the park. The road in front of the Duck Pond was terrible. Taking my time I made sure to watch every step and didn't try to get out of the tire tracks to pass anyone. I'm pretty sure I held my breath until I got to 7th Street!

I checked in with Kipper after Mile 2 and was making crazy good time. I could tell he was still a little nervous so I decided not to fill him in on the Duck Pond experience. lol. At this point I started to settle into my pace and just ran. I saw several friends along the way and was just enjoying myself. Along the way Kipper texted me that I was tracking to set a PR but I tried not to get my hopes up because it was still early on.

Around Mile 7 I finally got to see Kipper which is always boost. It was also at this point (my lucky number 7 seems to be paying off for me this year) I realized that the race I had planned for was still possible. Instead of playing mind games with myself, at that moment I committed - I was going to do what I had trained for and I was going to get my Half Marathon PR. I put on my favorite Chris Tomlin song (yes, one song on repeat) and dug in.

Over the next few miles I was so focused on the words of my music I don't remember all the little details I normally do. I do remember being happy to see Katy at the top of the Main Street bridge and running into my co-worker Phillip as I came into downtown. And somewhere right after that my left butt check got so cold I thought maybe my pants ripped. Seriously. Then I freaked out that I could have peed on myself and it had frozen. I am happy to announce neither of those things happened...I was just really freaking cold and wet!!

Coming into Mile 12 my left leg started to hurt. I was so worried about re-injuring my right ankle I know I must have over compensated with my left leg because this had never happened before. A few times I had to stop for just a second to shake it out/stretch it a little so I could turn it on when I rounded the corner to the finish.  As I was coming into Will Rogers I knew I had my PR in the bag. When I saw my coach, Monica, I knew I was soooo close to my Sub 3 race I just couldn't let up.

As bad as my leg was hurting a mile before, it all suddenly went away as I ran that last stretch to the finish line. As I got a little closer I was finally able to make out the time on the clock and I knew. At that point I didn't even try to fight back the tears.

By the grace of God I crossed the finish line at 2:58:55. A Sub 3 race and a 22 minute PR!!  And to think just a few hours earlier I nearly gave into my fears and backed out of the whole thing. (to my credit it was mainly the fear of re-injuring myself but still) 

I will never forget crossing that finish line and seeing Kipper just off to the side. Walking over to him I was bawling and I call could say was "I did it! I did it!" And he keep asking "What did you do?" and laughing. He knew I had set a PR but he wasn't sure if I had made it under the 3 hour mark.  He was maybe as giddy as I was. And I will never forgot the look on his face when he showed me the text message with my official time.

Needless to say, I am incredibly blessed with a super supportive husband. I love that we both support each others races and find so much joy in seeing each other succeed. I assumed that Kipper would have been taking photos all day, like I normally do for him. When I asked him to send me photos from today he also sent me a picture of his pancakes from when he was waiting for me so I could have "a full scope of today's events!" So I have no picture with him, my coach or my mom, but I do have this. I think this is an "area of opportunity" for him as a Sherpa. Lol.

Even though I have been running for nearly 4 years it feels new again.  This is my journey. Reaching this milestone is only the beginning. I know there will be moments where it harder than others. I know there will be moments I will doubt myself. Heck it is hard not to sometimes compare myself to our list of friends who are super fast.  I might never be able to get to where they are and that is completely okay.

In closing I want to say thank you to the those who believed in me before I believed in myself. You gently nudged me (or in some cases gave be a big shove) to push past my comfort zone. You are there to hold my hand when I need support to make the next step. You listen when I hit a wall and you are there to celebrate when I break through it. It takes a village and I couldn't have done it without you.  Cheers to more adventures!

Goodbye Comfort Zone: 1 Month Later

When I wrote New Year, New Me?!?! and laid it all out there, I was terrified. Yet the fact that I did put everything out there has sort of helped motivate and ground me a bit. It has been just over a month since since I started facing my fears, forcing myself out of my comfort zone and making some big changes in my life. And man have there been some changes. 

1. Tracking my food. This was, I think, one of the biggest fears I have had to face. To date I have tracked every bite that has entered by mouth for the last 32 days in My Fitness Pal. This is a record for me. Even when I did Weight Watchers several years ago I always took a day (sometimes more) off each week where I didn't track. And you know what? It hasn't been that bad. I tend to eat a lot of the same things during the week so that makes it easy. Eating out still stresses me a little bit so I try to look at the menu ahead of time and pre-plan. This helps me from panicking and it makes sure I don't 30 minutes trying to figure out what I want to eat. Still working on my anxiety there.  Now when I say it hasn't been that bad, I would be lying if I didn't admit that there have been a few low moments. Thankfully most of them have just been panic over what to order at a non-chain restaurant where I can find no nutrition info online. The lowest moment - and it was LOW -  I hurled a half eaten sandwich across the kitchen.  Then cried because I didn't know how many calories I should enter for the little bit I had eaten. (I'm claiming PMS. Just go with it.) Thankfully after the fact both Kipper and I were able to laugh at how ridiculous it was because at the moment neither of us were laughing. 

2. Eating enough. I mentioned before that Kipper thought I wasn't eating enough. Through tracking my calories it became clear that on days I worked out I wasn't getting close to enough calories in. One week I had a 5,000 calorie deficit. Two weeks ago I finally went and had a Resting Metabolic Rate (RMR) test done.  The test gives you some fascinating results and information. The biggest for me was that for my age, weight and sex I actually have a very fast metabolism. And shocker, I wasn't eating enough! To lose weight I should be eating between 2000-2400 calories a day!! Panic set in when I started to apply this information, but I have stuck with it. Some days I feel like I have had to force myself to eat a snack to get to the right calorie point by mid-day. With that said my body is adjusting and now reminds me when I miss my mid-morning snack. If you are trying to lose weight and feel stuck, I highly suggest you have a RMR test done.  

3. Hiring a coach. When Kipper started training for his Ironman 70.3 he hired a coach. He has been dropping hints for sometime that we should look into a coach for me. And while I agreed I would do that if I ever did another full marathon, I wasn't interested in taking on an additional monthly cost that comes with hiring a coach until then. After a little coaxing I agreed to meet with Monica, one of the coaches at Trident. A week later I was an official member of Trident and was getting planned workouts. When I got my first week's schedule I panicked a bit. I sent Kipper a text, simply saying  "Shit just got real!!" His response? "Welcome to Trident!" Fast forward three weeks and I am thankful I took the plunge. I can already tell a difference in my running. Plus the accountability to my coach (and my checkbook) has been huge. Kipper played his cards really well in getting me here. He knows I am cheap and a people pleaser. Therefore he knew if I did this it would be a potential game changer for me. Well played Mr. Martin, well played.

4. Seeing results.  To make things more exciting I am seeing results. I can already tell a difference in so many ways: my running times/recovery, the way my clothes (and shoes!) fit, the way I feel and even on the scale. While I am trying to not focus on the scale, learning be healthy about the number it shows is a huge part of this journey. The first two weeks I lost a few pounds but nothing significant, but in the two weeks following my RMR test I have lost nearly 9 pounds! (see why I said you need to do it!!!) I am down a total of 13 pounds in the last month but most of all I feel great. Including my bum ankle, which is awesome! I have my first race of 2015 this weekend - Hot Chocolate 15k. While I am not pumped about driving to Dallas early on a Saturday morning, I am super excited to see how it goes. Good or bad there will be chocolate and that is enough for me. 

4. The downfall.  If you know me, you know I am NOT a domestic goddess when it comes to laundry and dishes. Mr. Martin on the other hand is a tad OCD about them. The amount of water bottles and work out clothes that I washed leading up to Kipper's first Ironman 70.3 nearly drove me to the nut house. Well he is training for another 70.3 and add in my workout gear, water bottles and containers from meal prep you can only imagine. I have officially come to terms with the fact we will never be caught up and he will always OCD over the unwashed/unfolded/un put away workout clothes and water bottles. If that is the biggest downfall I can totally live with that! 

Moving forward I know that there will plateaus and rough patches, maybe even setbacks. You don't overcome years of unhealthy thinking and habits in a single month. But I am going to keep pushing myself out of my comfort zone and digging deep to prove to myself just how crazy that old me really was. 

In the coming months I want to challenge you. Pick something in your life that you want to work on or try. Pick something that scares the crap out of you. Maybe something you have dreamed about but have put off more times that you can recall. Then make a promise to yourself to start facing your fears and see what happens. Find a friend or a mentor who can support you and hold you accountable. Be open with others about your goals. And take it one step at a time. I am not saying it won't be scary. It will be hard and at times uncomfortable. After the last 3 years what I can say without a doubt is if you commit to yourself, it will be is amazing and life changing.