31 Days

I use an app called Dreamdays 365. In it, I track big upcoming events like vacations, major work events, runs I am training for...you get the idea. Today I saw this:

A strange mix of excitement, sadness and panic hit me like a ton of bricks. The isn't news to me. I have known Joy of Life was around the corner, but this year it takes on a much different meaning. 

• 31 days till Joy of Life.
• 31 days till my last day at Cancer Care Services.
• 31 days till I will no longer have my friend and mentor, who has believed in since the first time we met 10 years ago, as my boss. 
• 31 days till I leave the familiarity of the non-profit world for the for-profit one.  

31 days until I close a huge chapter on my life. 

But on the flip side there was this: 

• 33 days till I start my new job at Pier 1.
• 33 days till I "go to the dark side" of corporate America. lol. 
• 33 days till I get to start doing 1 of my 2 dream jobs.
• 33 days till I don't have to go home every night at stress if I my event doesn't make goal, services will be cut and people will lose their jobs.  
• 33 days till I get to meet a lot of new people. 
• 33 days till I go work for a company who has built a culture that values giving back to their local community.
• 33 days till I get a raise. :)
• 33 days till I get to have new experiences and new adventures.

33 days till I start writing a new chapter of my life. 

Needless to say the next 31 days will be filled with lots of emotions. But emotions aside, I still feel the same overwhelming peace I did when I first laid eyes on the job posting. I knew that it was where I was supposed to be. After I spoke with the recruiter, it confirmed it was where I was supposed to be.  After my interviews, I knew even more it was where I was supposed to be.

For several months I had prayed God would open a door to an opportunity that fed my soul, helped provide for my family and would allow me to glorify him. I prayed that when that door opened he would give me the peace to know that it was the right door for me.

 A few times I "thought" I found that door, but never felt the peace I had prayed for. This time the peace was there from the start. So even though I am sad and little scared of closing that chapter in 31 days I know what waits for me in 33 days is where I am supposed to be.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye: Allie Has Big News

Since the hubs put a little teaser on facebook the other day, several dear friends have been begging me to spill the beans. And I finally can! :)

Kipper did say it was NOT a baby and people kept trying to guess what it was.

• Adopting a new fur baby
• Adopting an adult
• Kipper doing an Ironman
• Moving to Midland 
• Judging Miss America...with something about a talent of peppers and coffee. lol
• Twins
• Moving to Midland again (we are really wanted in Midland!)
• Taking in a sister wife
• Renewing our vows

No one hit the jackpot, but I do have to say the guesses have been a TON of fun to read!

My blog yesterday talked about unanswered prayers, this is a continuation of that. About 5 months ago I began praying for something and in August it looked like that prayer might have be answered. While I tried not to get my hopes up, I am me, and I did. So in the end when it didn't work out, I was devastated. I questioned myself, my abilities and my path.  But at the same time I knew in my heart of hearts that it wasn't right. Trust his plan. He will provide.

The next day. Seriously the THE. NEXT. DAY. a new door was opened. A few weeks, lots of prayer and many tears (both happy and sad) later lead to the most amazing kick off of Allietober I could imagine!

There is a move in my future. I am taking a leap and spreading my wings. And today I can finally share my new home!

I have accepted a position with Pier 1 Imports overseeing their community relations and associate engagement!

This decision didn't come lightly. Nonprofit has been my entire career. My heart and soul. Friends have joked with me for years to "come to the dark side" where they have better pay, more benefits and often time cookies. But I could never imagine it. My heart is in serving others and giving back to the community.

Of course the emotions are high because for the first time in 10 years I won't be laboring along side my dear friend and mentor, Melanie. I knew this time would come someday but I had never REALLY thought about it until now. This week has be tough. I have never experienced such joy and sorrow at the same time.

I had always dreamed of a community relations role within a company that truly valued giving back as a part of their culture, but it was just a dream. Until now. It is my reality!!!!

I will be on the giving side to our local nonprofits. I will get to connect employees with local organizations who need their volunteer service. (Pier 1 pays for every employee to volunteer 1 hour each week at the nonprofit of their choice....even hourly employees get this benefit!) I get to be an organizer, planner, cheerleader, a giver and an advocate.

Pier 1 has been incredibly supportive in my transition, especially given that Joy of Life is in 5 short weeks. The night of Joy of Life is always emotional because it is the moment you have worked towards all year. This year it will be bittersweet. It will be my last day of employment with Cancer Care Services. A few friends who have known joked it will be the best going away party I will ever get from an employer. lol.

On November 11, 2013 I start my new journey. One where I know with every fiber of my being, this is where I am meant to be. This is where all of those unanswered prayers have guided me. An opportunity that I thought was only in my dreams.

Trust his plan. He will provide.

Unanswered Prayers

It has been 2 months since my last real, published blog post.

In the past, typing the sentence would make me feel like a failure or slacker. This time it doesn't. A lot has been going on in the Martin household and with me personally. Some of these things just popped up, others have been building for months.  (And if we are going to be 100% honest, I was dealing with one of the worst spells of depression I have had since going totally med free a year ago.)  Yet through the darkness and worry, so many amazing things have happened. 

The last few weeks I have spent a lot of time thinking back over the past year and plans I had in store.  Only God had very different plans. I wanted more than anything to trust his plan and his timing, but it was a major struggle. At times I found myself angry and feeling helpless. I kept praying for the faith to trust his plan, but often found myself slipping into praying for him to please answer my unanswered prayers. 

The biggest of these was for us to get pregnant and have a healthy baby.  If you have ever tired to get pregnant and especially those who have struggled with infertility, you will understand what I am saying here. You want nothing more than to do what thousands of unwed teenagers do every week but for some reason it isn't happening. (if one more person told me to just get drunk and "do it" I might have hit someone!) You sob and get depressed when someone announces they are expecting, no matter how much you want to be happy for them. Whenever you are a day late you start to get your hopes up just a little bit, only for granny flow to send them crashing down into the gutter. And don't even get me started on how the news of Kim Kardashian being pregnant set me off. 

I started training for my first half marathon and really focused on channeling my energy in to that verses thinking about us not getting pregnant. I have said it before, but I truly have running to thank for saving me and for helping realign my relationship with God. Slowly but surely things started to get better. I was trusting his plan. I knew God wouldn't have put it on our hearts to be parents if it wasn't meant to be.

Fast forward a few months, we got some bad news on testing and I began to prepare myself to hear that it was the end of the road for us having a biological child because we knew we could never afford IVF. I was devastated at this thought but I did the only thing I knew to do - I prayed. I prayed that God would provide a way for us to become parents.  

The day before the doctors appointment we found out that as of October 1st Kipper's insurance would began covering IVF!! Trust his plan, he will provide. 

Looking back on this last year, I am thankful for those unanswered prayers. Kipper and I are not the same people we were a year ago. We had things we needed to experience, demons we needed to face, opportunities that we needed to take; that all were a very important part of our journey. This has been a year of tremendous growth in the Martin household. God has been helping prepare us for what he has to come and I can say without a doubt in my heart whatever it he has in store will be more amazing than anything I could every dream up.

I have been chomping at the bit to share with everyone our latest news and I will finally be able to do that tomorrow! Yea!!!! Stay tuned! (and no, it isn't a baby...)