I am always one for a good roller coaster ride and the last few years of my life has felt like a non-stop trip on the craziest coaster I have ever rode. Tonight I invite you for a short spin on the Allie Coaster...proceed with caution.
I have always had issues with being hypersensitive to certain smells. For as long as I can remember the detergent aisle at the grocery story made my stomach turn. I had perfected holding my breath long enough to get down the aisle by the time was a teenager. (Sadly a trick I still use today.) Then there is anything that remotely smells like fish. And don't even get me started on the smell of lavender and my daily battle with my lavender loving hubby.
But lately I have noticed I have become very sensitive to touching certain things, especially paper. (Trust me, it sounds as crazy to me as it does you, but seriously it makes my skin crawl just to think about it sometimes.) I remember construction paper bothering me a little when I was younger, but nothing like what I have dealt with the last 2 weeks. I often joke about being crazy, but this has made me really start to think I needed to be checked into a psych ward - STAT!
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After calming down I reflect over what I have been through over the last year to get to the point I am today. A few weeks shy of a year ago, Kipper and I embarked on our journey to become parents. (Original post can be found here) In the last year I have gone from being on the highest legal dose of Adderall XR to knowing that while extremely hard, I can function without it if I have to.
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Yet through it all, one thing has kept me going. One day, when we finally meet Baby Martin it will all be worth it! This journey has been an emotional roller coaster to say the least. While I feel like we have come so far, really we just made it over the first major hill and I know we have a long way to go. I just tell myself everyday to trust God's plan (which truthfully is easier some days than others) and to keep focused on becoming a healthier me.